Sorry I skipped last week. I was in the land of no internets, but I was not idle! I saw Men in Black 3, and I highly recommend it, more so than Prometheus. I know, I know. Heresy.
But it was so much fun! Just like the first movie, it had some slapstick, but not too much. I had Tommy Lee Jones/Josh Brolin as the straight man and Will Smith at his funniest. And I loved Jermaine Clement as Boris, It's-Just-Boris, the Animal.
As you've no doubt seen in the previews, Agent K disappears from the timeline, prompting Agent J to go back and find out what happens. He has to team up with a much younger Agent K, and they learn more about one another in the least sappiest way possible. It's a comedy with heart at its core, my favorite kind. Like The Avengers, I will likely see this one again.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Brave: The Women Men Don't See
We took the kid to see Brave this afternoon. The theater was packed, which is a bit unusual in Fort Smith, where on Sundays most people are engaged in other sorts of, ah, entertainment.
I will say up front that I liked this movie. It was lovely, first. Beautiful animation, amazing action scenes, and I want to be Merida, riding her horse around those mountains and climbing those rocks. Who wouldn't?
I also very much liked that this is a movie in which we have have an intact family, in which the parents love (a) each other and (b) are obviously equal partners in their relationship. He's the king, and she's the queen, but neither one of them is the boss of the other one. Granted, she seems to be doing all the paperwork in the kingdom; but then he's doing all the bear and Viking-killing. So I guess that works out.
What we don't have is any dead parents, or evil step-mothers. We have two parents, both parenting, in a happy, functional (not dysfunctional) family.
Although it is true that Merida does not want to get married, and it is true that Elinor insists she has to do so -- but Elinor has really good reasons for insisting on this, and the film presents them. (Enter the conflict! And the magic!)
Don't worry, I won't give spoilers. It's a really good movie, and I do highly recommend it. I was never bored, it's delightful, and delightfully entertaining, and I give it an A-.
So what don't I like about the movie?
Because I am not entirely happy.
Here's the point I don't like -- throughout the movie we are given the subtle message that it is the job of women to civilize men. Again and again, Elinor steps in to set the brawling Highlanders at peace; and when she vanishes from the castle, they immediately degenerate into savagery and begin lobbing arrows and food and rocks at one another.
This is also the message Elinor gives Merida. She must marry one the the princes, or the truce will fall apart. Without a woman to bind the kingdom, the men can't hold the peace.
And in the opening scenes (and elsewhere) Elinor constantly is shown nagging Merida and the other children about their manners, about their music lessons, about their clothing -- so women create order and civilization, and without it, chaos and barbarism would descend.
Well, first, how is it the job of women to make men behave? We are humans, not the guardians of civilization. And second, for fuck's sake. What does this worldview say about men?
This is why the King can't even recognize his wife (okay, I find I have to give a SPOILER, so read no more at this point if you don't want SPOILERS).... when she's been turned into the bear. She's not her civilized self. She's her beast self. Merida knows her, but the King can only recognize his image of her, the mannered facade which was all he ever got to see: not her true self. So he would cut her down.
At the end of the movie, Merida and Elinor are riding out into the hills, into the wild, to do what they want, instead of staying in the castle and taming men. That's a good sign, I think.
And the other part I don't like is that part about the division of labor -- that Merida is a hero because she is good at fighting and riding and hunting, that these are the skills which save her. I would have liked the movie a bit more if (along with her skills at fighting and riding and hunting) the skills which her mother had taught her had turned out to be essential as well.
Women's magic should matter in this world as well as men's.
I will say up front that I liked this movie. It was lovely, first. Beautiful animation, amazing action scenes, and I want to be Merida, riding her horse around those mountains and climbing those rocks. Who wouldn't?
I also very much liked that this is a movie in which we have have an intact family, in which the parents love (a) each other and (b) are obviously equal partners in their relationship. He's the king, and she's the queen, but neither one of them is the boss of the other one. Granted, she seems to be doing all the paperwork in the kingdom; but then he's doing all the bear and Viking-killing. So I guess that works out.
What we don't have is any dead parents, or evil step-mothers. We have two parents, both parenting, in a happy, functional (not dysfunctional) family.
Although it is true that Merida does not want to get married, and it is true that Elinor insists she has to do so -- but Elinor has really good reasons for insisting on this, and the film presents them. (Enter the conflict! And the magic!)
Don't worry, I won't give spoilers. It's a really good movie, and I do highly recommend it. I was never bored, it's delightful, and delightfully entertaining, and I give it an A-.
So what don't I like about the movie?
Because I am not entirely happy.
Here's the point I don't like -- throughout the movie we are given the subtle message that it is the job of women to civilize men. Again and again, Elinor steps in to set the brawling Highlanders at peace; and when she vanishes from the castle, they immediately degenerate into savagery and begin lobbing arrows and food and rocks at one another.
This is also the message Elinor gives Merida. She must marry one the the princes, or the truce will fall apart. Without a woman to bind the kingdom, the men can't hold the peace.
And in the opening scenes (and elsewhere) Elinor constantly is shown nagging Merida and the other children about their manners, about their music lessons, about their clothing -- so women create order and civilization, and without it, chaos and barbarism would descend.
Well, first, how is it the job of women to make men behave? We are humans, not the guardians of civilization. And second, for fuck's sake. What does this worldview say about men?
This is why the King can't even recognize his wife (okay, I find I have to give a SPOILER, so read no more at this point if you don't want SPOILERS).... when she's been turned into the bear. She's not her civilized self. She's her beast self. Merida knows her, but the King can only recognize his image of her, the mannered facade which was all he ever got to see: not her true self. So he would cut her down.
At the end of the movie, Merida and Elinor are riding out into the hills, into the wild, to do what they want, instead of staying in the castle and taming men. That's a good sign, I think.
And the other part I don't like is that part about the division of labor -- that Merida is a hero because she is good at fighting and riding and hunting, that these are the skills which save her. I would have liked the movie a bit more if (along with her skills at fighting and riding and hunting) the skills which her mother had taught her had turned out to be essential as well.
Women's magic should matter in this world as well as men's.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Prometheus: A Cautionary Tale
All over the blogosphere, the verdict has been rolling in on Ridley Scott's shiny new movie, Prometheus, and almost entirely we are all in agreement: meh.
A few days ago I posted an excoriating review over on my own blog, and this was my verdict as well.
But since then I have been thinking, and I have decided that possibly I missed the point of this movie.
Maybe it is not, in fact, as it appears to be, a straight-up SF movie, attempting to show us one possible interpretation of our shared history/possible future.
Maybe, instead, it is a cautionary tale.
Famously, R.A. Heinlein said there were only a few kinds of SF that could be written: if-this-goes-on being one of them. Perhaps Prometheus is an if-this-goes-on tale?
Look at our scientists -- well, look at everyone in the crew. They are mostly Americans, though a few Scottish scientists have slipped in I believe. And they are, uniformly, the most uninformed, ill-educated, bumbling "scientists" you will ever want to encounter. They are incapable of using evidence to reach a conclusion, or of following standard protocols -- like biohazard protocol; or simple details like don't take your helmet off in an unsecured environment -- they have apparently taken jobs without asking basic questions about what they will be asked to do. Further, the "scientists" all seem to be Creationists. They're out here looking for their intelligent designers, and they think faith, not evidence, is what you base your decisions on.
Here's my theory. These are all American who have been raised in the post-No Child Left Behind/Teach The Controversy education system. They don't, in fact, know how to think, or how to reach decisions based on evidence. They can believe that nonsense Dr. Elizabeth gives them at the beginning, about the star map being a signal -- which makes no logical sense at all -- because they've been educated in a school system where nothing they get taught is expected to make any sense. They're just supposed to memorize it and write it down on the test. They're used to being told things by someone with a fancy screen at the front of the room (Powerpoint!) and accepting it as the right answer.
And this is why our "biologist" calls it Darwinism and this is why our geologist isn't really interested in doing geology. In the future, science isn't actually science. It's a job -- like teaching high school science -- you get paid for not doing.
And in the end? You get smashed by Creationist Hulk, who is really pissed at what an idiot you have been.
And rightly so.
A few days ago I posted an excoriating review over on my own blog, and this was my verdict as well.
But since then I have been thinking, and I have decided that possibly I missed the point of this movie.
Maybe it is not, in fact, as it appears to be, a straight-up SF movie, attempting to show us one possible interpretation of our shared history/possible future.
Maybe, instead, it is a cautionary tale.
Famously, R.A. Heinlein said there were only a few kinds of SF that could be written: if-this-goes-on being one of them. Perhaps Prometheus is an if-this-goes-on tale?
Look at our scientists -- well, look at everyone in the crew. They are mostly Americans, though a few Scottish scientists have slipped in I believe. And they are, uniformly, the most uninformed, ill-educated, bumbling "scientists" you will ever want to encounter. They are incapable of using evidence to reach a conclusion, or of following standard protocols -- like biohazard protocol; or simple details like don't take your helmet off in an unsecured environment -- they have apparently taken jobs without asking basic questions about what they will be asked to do. Further, the "scientists" all seem to be Creationists. They're out here looking for their intelligent designers, and they think faith, not evidence, is what you base your decisions on.
Here's my theory. These are all American who have been raised in the post-No Child Left Behind/Teach The Controversy education system. They don't, in fact, know how to think, or how to reach decisions based on evidence. They can believe that nonsense Dr. Elizabeth gives them at the beginning, about the star map being a signal -- which makes no logical sense at all -- because they've been educated in a school system where nothing they get taught is expected to make any sense. They're just supposed to memorize it and write it down on the test. They're used to being told things by someone with a fancy screen at the front of the room (Powerpoint!) and accepting it as the right answer.
And this is why our "biologist" calls it Darwinism and this is why our geologist isn't really interested in doing geology. In the future, science isn't actually science. It's a job -- like teaching high school science -- you get paid for not doing.
And in the end? You get smashed by Creationist Hulk, who is really pissed at what an idiot you have been.
And rightly so.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
A Review or an Embarrassing Display of Fangirl Love? Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart
Bridge of Birds was recommended to me years ago, not when it was new, but sometime when I was in college, so I was a latecomer to the lovefest. One of those who didn't buy it new and reluctantly allowed it to fade somewhat into obscurity by the time I found it. (But even as old as I am, I wasn't old enough to buy it when it came out, so please excuse my oversight.)
And really it's Bridge of Birds: A Novel of an Ancient China That Never Was but all that wouldn't fit nicely in the title. This copy is one I hunted down early on, after it was recommended to me and it became one of those book that I reread every few years. The plot is a heavy thing, saving the lives of every child in the village between the ages of 5 and 13, but the treatment is bright, cheerful, and humorous.
How it works, I'm not sure. The characters wander through a world of magic, treating it as commonplace and intriguing all at the same time. It is an excellent example of a quest novel. There is a cure that must be found to save the children, The Great Root of Power, and our intrepid adventurers. I'll let them introduce themselves.
"My surname is Lu and my personal name is Yu, but I am not to be confused with the eminent author of The Classic of Tea. My family is quite undistinguished and since I am the tenth of my father's sons and rather strong, I am usually referred to as Number Ten Ox." He is our peasant, our fighter, our straightforward hero. Then, for the low, low price of 4000 copper, cash, he collects his other half, the wise man, the thinker, drinker, con and thief.
"'My surname is Li and my personal name is Kao, and there is a slight flaw in my character,' he said matter-of-factly. 'You got a problem?'"
What is that? I think I heard you wondering about some of my favorite quotes? Well, don't twist my arm too hard. I won't be able to type without it. It is, tangentially, where I keep my fingers.
Page 5, in introduction. "The abbot used to say that the emotional health of a village depended on having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them."
Page 29, on teaching cleverness. "Take a large bowl," I said. "Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy. Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei - which means "dry cup" - and drink to the dregs." Procopius stared at me. "And I will be wiser?" he asked. "Better," I said. "You will be Chinese."
Page 127, on finding a man more difficult to kill than the usual. "If we get out of here alive, we most certainly must take another crack at killing him, purely in the interest of science."
Page 157, on discovering ancient armored corpses chewed into bits. "'You know, I recall a monster that could have done this to armed warriors,' he said thoughtfully. ' It was discovered frozen in the ice of a Mongolian glacier. Half mammal, half lizard, one hundred feet from head to tail, and equipped with teeth like steel doorposts. The sages wanted to preserve it for scientific study, but we had an exceptionally idiotic emperor at the time, and I regret to say the imperial dolt had the beast cut up and boiled for a state banquet. The fact that it smelled like two thousand old unopened rooms and tasted like diseased whale blubber didn't bother the Son of Heaven one bit. He happily awarded himself the medal 'Heroic Slayer of Inedible Monstrosities' which he wore on all state occasions.'"
Page 197, on realizing that difficult man to kill really needed to die. "'Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?' I asked.
'We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China,' said Master Li, 'is overstocked with deranged alchemists.'"
You do not know how much I want to live in a world overstocked with deranged alchemists.
Now, while I'd love to do another Series Starter giveaway I seldom find this book in the wild so I cannot. As for my copy, you may TRY to pry this book from my cold dead hands, but I wouldn't count on being successful. However, I'd love to do a trade. I may have mentioned before my preference for paperback and I have Bridge of Birds in paperback but the two following stories The Story of the Stone and Eight Skilled Gentlemen I've only found in hardcover. If you prefer hardcover and have found them in paperback... let me know.
And if you haven't found this series, if you haven't read this series... what are you waiting for?
Oh, also "chop, chop, chop!"
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Prometheus
I saw Prometheus this last week, and I'm kinda disappointed. It was a very pretty movie, but at the end, I was left with more questions than answers, and not in a good way.
Seems aliens left clues all over Earth about the origin of our species, and now scientists have pinpointed the planet these aliens were from. The crew of the Prometheus goes there, each with his or her own agenda. I was with the movie thus far, but then the motivations of the characters started to disintegrate. Plot lines were invented only to be left hanging, and though there were some good clues as to the origin of the aliens circa Alien, the clues didn't lead anywhere particularly enlightening.
There were also a lot of what looked like oopsies, mistakes left in the film that I spotted even though I don't particularly search for such things. Like the wind ruffling the hair of someone without a space helmet also ruffling the hair of someone WITH a space helmet, or the fact that we're all supposed to be suited up against the elements, yet in one scene, one of the characters isn't wearing her gloves. Those were easy fixes, but I got the feeling the filmmakers thought that no one would notice. They stood out like a knocked over tombstone in Plan 9 From Outer Space to me.
Loved most of the characters. All the actors were very good. I could look at Charlize Theron and Micheal Fassbender forever, but they weren't enough to hold a very thin plot together. It's very disappointing. Hopefully, I'll get something more out of MiB 3.
Seems aliens left clues all over Earth about the origin of our species, and now scientists have pinpointed the planet these aliens were from. The crew of the Prometheus goes there, each with his or her own agenda. I was with the movie thus far, but then the motivations of the characters started to disintegrate. Plot lines were invented only to be left hanging, and though there were some good clues as to the origin of the aliens circa Alien, the clues didn't lead anywhere particularly enlightening.
There were also a lot of what looked like oopsies, mistakes left in the film that I spotted even though I don't particularly search for such things. Like the wind ruffling the hair of someone without a space helmet also ruffling the hair of someone WITH a space helmet, or the fact that we're all supposed to be suited up against the elements, yet in one scene, one of the characters isn't wearing her gloves. Those were easy fixes, but I got the feeling the filmmakers thought that no one would notice. They stood out like a knocked over tombstone in Plan 9 From Outer Space to me.
Loved most of the characters. All the actors were very good. I could look at Charlize Theron and Micheal Fassbender forever, but they weren't enough to hold a very thin plot together. It's very disappointing. Hopefully, I'll get something more out of MiB 3.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Cosplay and Costumes
I had a rough week, so I'm postponing the Bridge of Birds discussion until next week. Until then, let's talk about something I was reading today.
'-Isms' in Cosplay and costuming.
Racism and fat...ism. Apparently darker skinned people get picked on for choosing to dress as a white character. Being fish-belly white, I've never experienced that -- though that could be because I mostly dress up at Halloween, not at conventions. Also even though my weight has changed greatly over time, I've never been picked on for being fat.
Here's where I have to admit to being habitually oblivious. There are times when I'll miss a dude in a monkey costume moving through a basketball game so I can't say for sure that no one has picked on me. It could be that I just didn't notice. The thing is that I also won't notice anyone picking on anyone else. Not unless it gets loud or moves into my field of vision. Or I'm bored and have decided to amuse myself by listening to random nearby conversations.
This way of life leaves me happily oblivious to things I don't want to know about, but unhappily oblivious to things I might want to know about. Like people getting picked on.
If you are picked on, I want you to know that not all of us white, skinny (occasionally) people are in on it or even willing to be in on it, if we knew. I haven't been in a fight since grade school, but I will go there if you need me to.
And not all of us are judging you. Some of us are obsessively reading whatever printed up signs are handy. Or are thinking of to have for dinner. Or wishing we'd had the forethought to put together a costume.
Okay, maybe I am judging a little. If you come to a convention in a public place wearing green lingerie (complete with cheap mesh back that a lot of lingerie chooses to use, but cannot be mistaken for anything other than lingerie) and a leaf in your hair and pretend that's Poison Ivy, I may be judging you a little.
If you are a person of color wearing a costume usually seen on white people, I'm on your side. If you are not popsicle-stick thin but enjoy dressing up anyway, I'm on your side. If you spend 20 weeks on your costume, or 20 minutes, but were able to find the courage to dress up in public when it is not Halloween, I am on your side. (I mean that completely. Wear a wolf hoodie to the grocery store and I'm still on your side.
But I may not notice that you need help.
Tap me on the shoulder and tell me someone is picking on you and I'll stand next to you as we figure out if my throw-down skill have improved over the last 20 years with no practice. I will get beat up right beside you if I have to.
The big thing I want you to know is that I'm on your side. Make your costume, do your thing, and be happy. And remember some of us aren't judging. We're reading that t-shirt on display over your shoulder.
Also, along those lines, have video:
'-Isms' in Cosplay and costuming.
Racism and fat...ism. Apparently darker skinned people get picked on for choosing to dress as a white character. Being fish-belly white, I've never experienced that -- though that could be because I mostly dress up at Halloween, not at conventions. Also even though my weight has changed greatly over time, I've never been picked on for being fat.
Here's where I have to admit to being habitually oblivious. There are times when I'll miss a dude in a monkey costume moving through a basketball game so I can't say for sure that no one has picked on me. It could be that I just didn't notice. The thing is that I also won't notice anyone picking on anyone else. Not unless it gets loud or moves into my field of vision. Or I'm bored and have decided to amuse myself by listening to random nearby conversations.
This way of life leaves me happily oblivious to things I don't want to know about, but unhappily oblivious to things I might want to know about. Like people getting picked on.
If you are picked on, I want you to know that not all of us white, skinny (occasionally) people are in on it or even willing to be in on it, if we knew. I haven't been in a fight since grade school, but I will go there if you need me to.
And not all of us are judging you. Some of us are obsessively reading whatever printed up signs are handy. Or are thinking of to have for dinner. Or wishing we'd had the forethought to put together a costume.
Okay, maybe I am judging a little. If you come to a convention in a public place wearing green lingerie (complete with cheap mesh back that a lot of lingerie chooses to use, but cannot be mistaken for anything other than lingerie) and a leaf in your hair and pretend that's Poison Ivy, I may be judging you a little.
If you are a person of color wearing a costume usually seen on white people, I'm on your side. If you are not popsicle-stick thin but enjoy dressing up anyway, I'm on your side. If you spend 20 weeks on your costume, or 20 minutes, but were able to find the courage to dress up in public when it is not Halloween, I am on your side. (I mean that completely. Wear a wolf hoodie to the grocery store and I'm still on your side.
But I may not notice that you need help.
Tap me on the shoulder and tell me someone is picking on you and I'll stand next to you as we figure out if my throw-down skill have improved over the last 20 years with no practice. I will get beat up right beside you if I have to.
The big thing I want you to know is that I'm on your side. Make your costume, do your thing, and be happy. And remember some of us aren't judging. We're reading that t-shirt on display over your shoulder.
Also, along those lines, have video:
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Stuck indoors
With it so hot outside in Texas, it's perfect for catching up on SF/F movies, but alas, I've been unable to go recently. Tell me, if I'm picking between Battleship, MiB 3, and Snow White v. Huntsman, which should I choose?
Double alas, summer is not the time for SF/F tv shows. I think that's been tried in the past, but I'm not seeing any this year. It's all Gordon Ramsey, all the time.
That leaves books. Which I'm kinda always doing, but I'm still on my Star Trek DS9 kick. Maybe I'll get them all read by fall....
What are your summer SF/F plans?
Double alas, summer is not the time for SF/F tv shows. I think that's been tried in the past, but I'm not seeing any this year. It's all Gordon Ramsey, all the time.
That leaves books. Which I'm kinda always doing, but I'm still on my Star Trek DS9 kick. Maybe I'll get them all read by fall....
What are your summer SF/F plans?
Monday, June 4, 2012
The Revolution
I showed Matewan in my American Epics class today.
It's John Sayles' movie about the events leading up to the gun fight that precipitated the Blair Mountain war, essentially the biggest insurrection in American civil history, though no one ever teaches a thing about it -- or at least no one ever taught me about it when I was in school.
What I was thinking, as we watched Matewan, was how much more interesting books and movies like Hunger Games would be if Americans had knowledge of this history behind them -- if they read these books knowing about the Battle of Blair Mountain, and about Matewan, and about what William Randolph Hearst did to the miners.
Sadly, despite what Faulkner claimed, we're a country that buries its past.
It's John Sayles' movie about the events leading up to the gun fight that precipitated the Blair Mountain war, essentially the biggest insurrection in American civil history, though no one ever teaches a thing about it -- or at least no one ever taught me about it when I was in school.
What I was thinking, as we watched Matewan, was how much more interesting books and movies like Hunger Games would be if Americans had knowledge of this history behind them -- if they read these books knowing about the Battle of Blair Mountain, and about Matewan, and about what William Randolph Hearst did to the miners.
Sadly, despite what Faulkner claimed, we're a country that buries its past.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
AWOL Apologies and a Reading Assignment
First I want to apologize for being AWOL (Absent WithOut Leave) the last two weeks. I've been really scattered and unable to keep to a single thought. I think I've figured it out though. I've let the normal day to day worries drive everything else away and I've created nothing for the last several weeks.
And the lack of creating makes the lack of focus worse. I've realized I need to claim the title of Maker, because when I started creating again, I've started to feel better.
Not physically.
Physically I'm up past midnight because the calf muscle in my left leg has decided to become a solid rock of pain (I hate you, Calf Muscle.) But, because I can only stay in the bathtub so long hoping the heat will help, it made me remember that I was supposed to say something clever here and I haven't. Not for quite a while. But... it also made me think of a question Husband asks on occasion which seemed like a good thing to put here. (If it isn't forgive me. It's after midnight and I've already tried muscle relaxants to fix the leg. They sometimes unbalance the brain a little more than usual or, at least, relax some few inhibitions.)
Anyway, the question is: Why do I bring 4 or 5 books with me when I'm planning a long (hopefully) relaxing bath even though my longest baths aren't enough time to get through any but the smallest novel? Maybe a novella.
Well, it's because I suck at relaxing. Remember that calf muscle that refuses to let go? Yeah, that's pretty much like the rest of me, but I don't always hurt because of it. Occasionally, but not always.
And because I suck at relaxing, I can't just sit there and stare at the tile wall. I need to read. Then, unless I'm already well into a book, I never know if I'll enjoy it or whether it wil incite a murderous rage. Murderous rages inhibit relaxation. Sitting naked in a tub is not when you want to be snarling at the heroine, "If you say 'simply' one more time, I swear I will hunt you down and stab use once for every time you used that word -- even if I have to make an automatic stabbing machine because my arm got too tired to keep going."
Quick, someone write me a new version of Purple Rain, but this time singing Purple Prose. That should ward off the stabbies. You can't be all stabby singing, "I only want to see the sunset through your purple prose. Purple prose. Purrurple prose."
That works so well I can't even remember what I was upset about.
Not the bath, even though it did not function a I hoped. Not this stupid calf muscle, though it is making me feel like I really get the word "peeved". Peeeeeeved. Or maybe that's the muscle relaxants. Peeeved. Say that a few more times. It's the weirdest word ever.
Oh, I can remember I was planning to hand out a reading assignment. It's my FAVORITE EVER FANTASY NOVEL. Most people have never heard of it, but whenever I recommend it, it becomes someone else's new favorite ever fantasy novel. (Are you excited yet? Well, arya? You should be.)
It's Bridge of Birds: A Novel of Ancient China that Never Was. It was written by Barry Hughart and you should go find it, and read it. And love it because it is so very lovable.
Amazon definitely has it.
Your library might, but I can't check that for you. I don't know which branch you use.
You read it. I will reread it. And next week we will discuss.
I will tell you all my favorite parts and you will tell me all yours and then we will argue over who is right and who did not get Master Li at all and eventually we will agree that both sides have a point and I will go home secretly knowing how wrong you are. You will go home secretly knowing what the slight flaw in his character is, but withholding the information because you think I'm being high-handed and autocratic. You'd probably be right about that one, but I will never admit it.
Now read it. It will make you happy.
And the lack of creating makes the lack of focus worse. I've realized I need to claim the title of Maker, because when I started creating again, I've started to feel better.
Not physically.
Physically I'm up past midnight because the calf muscle in my left leg has decided to become a solid rock of pain (I hate you, Calf Muscle.) But, because I can only stay in the bathtub so long hoping the heat will help, it made me remember that I was supposed to say something clever here and I haven't. Not for quite a while. But... it also made me think of a question Husband asks on occasion which seemed like a good thing to put here. (If it isn't forgive me. It's after midnight and I've already tried muscle relaxants to fix the leg. They sometimes unbalance the brain a little more than usual or, at least, relax some few inhibitions.)
Anyway, the question is: Why do I bring 4 or 5 books with me when I'm planning a long (hopefully) relaxing bath even though my longest baths aren't enough time to get through any but the smallest novel? Maybe a novella.
Well, it's because I suck at relaxing. Remember that calf muscle that refuses to let go? Yeah, that's pretty much like the rest of me, but I don't always hurt because of it. Occasionally, but not always.
And because I suck at relaxing, I can't just sit there and stare at the tile wall. I need to read. Then, unless I'm already well into a book, I never know if I'll enjoy it or whether it wil incite a murderous rage. Murderous rages inhibit relaxation. Sitting naked in a tub is not when you want to be snarling at the heroine, "If you say 'simply' one more time, I swear I will hunt you down and stab use once for every time you used that word -- even if I have to make an automatic stabbing machine because my arm got too tired to keep going."
Quick, someone write me a new version of Purple Rain, but this time singing Purple Prose. That should ward off the stabbies. You can't be all stabby singing, "I only want to see the sunset through your purple prose. Purple prose. Purrurple prose."
That works so well I can't even remember what I was upset about.
Not the bath, even though it did not function a I hoped. Not this stupid calf muscle, though it is making me feel like I really get the word "peeved". Peeeeeeved. Or maybe that's the muscle relaxants. Peeeved. Say that a few more times. It's the weirdest word ever.
Oh, I can remember I was planning to hand out a reading assignment. It's my FAVORITE EVER FANTASY NOVEL. Most people have never heard of it, but whenever I recommend it, it becomes someone else's new favorite ever fantasy novel. (Are you excited yet? Well, arya? You should be.)
It's Bridge of Birds: A Novel of Ancient China that Never Was. It was written by Barry Hughart and you should go find it, and read it. And love it because it is so very lovable.
Amazon definitely has it.
Your library might, but I can't check that for you. I don't know which branch you use.
You read it. I will reread it. And next week we will discuss.
I will tell you all my favorite parts and you will tell me all yours and then we will argue over who is right and who did not get Master Li at all and eventually we will agree that both sides have a point and I will go home secretly knowing how wrong you are. You will go home secretly knowing what the slight flaw in his character is, but withholding the information because you think I'm being high-handed and autocratic. You'd probably be right about that one, but I will never admit it.
Now read it. It will make you happy.
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